S: SUPPORT the change process through reflections

We got a lot of interest in our blog post, Do Not Create Resistant Donkeys! where we discussed WEAC and STRONG sales tactics (mnemonics coined by me) and how they make the difference between creating a “resistant donkey” and unleashing a racehorse to the sales finish line.

“So what would I actually ask if I was using STRONG tactics?” asked one participant in our recent repeat of the Hide & Seek webinar presented by Cliff Pollan and Trish Bertuzzi.

Salespeople always want to know what questions to ask prospects. While it’s important to ask good questions, it’s even more important to use reflections in your conversations with prospects.

Let’s bring to life the S in STRONG sales tactics. To do so, I’d like to acknowledge David B. Rosengren’s work on reflective statements as being very influential in my understanding of this tactic.

S: Support the change process by asking questions, listening and reflecting.

Why?
Reflections are known to help individuals gain momentum in the change process. Persistent questioning—without a healthy mix of reflections—has the risk of interfering with your racehorse’s momentum and may instead cause resistant donkey to dig in its heels to stay put with the status quo.

Questions are critical to learning about a prospect’s needs and situation. It is important, however, not to overdo it. Too many questions get in the way of the conversation feeling collaborative. If the salesperson is asking all the questions, then it’s as if the salesperson is directing the solution—like a mechanic fixing a car, the prospect is put in the position of being “worked on”. The important point here: ensure the conversation feels collaborative by actively involving the prospect.

Reflections are very different from questions. Reflections are statements that the salesperson makes to confirm his or her understanding of what the prospect is saying. These statements are asked in a more declarative voice. Unlike questions, your voice does not turn up at the end.  The purpose of reflections is to get the prospect to really listen to him or herself, thereby promoting a conscious and well informed decision.

How?

Here are some examples of reflective statements:

“OK, so it seems you are worried about your software for these reasons…”

“You are curious about how long it will take to learn the new tool…”

“You might be interested in learning about other options for…”

“It seems your current system is satisfactory for these actions…and deficient for these…”

“You seem frustrated with…”

“It feels difficult for you to…”

“So, you want to improve your __ and on the other hand you realize that you need to figure out __.”

(Note in this last example the use of the word “and” instead of “but”. The problem with “but” is it’s a natural showstopper. “But” raises anxiety, suggesting there’s a problem and putting a negative spin on the first part of the sentence. “And” sets the tone for calmer consideration of both sides of a situation, letting the show go on.)

Tips:

• Vary your reflections or you risk sounding ingenuine and robotic. Don’t start every question with the same phrase:   “It sounds like…” , “It sounds like…”  ad naseum.
• If you are someone who likes metaphors, try using one to structure your reflection: “So, it’s like having the opportunity to buy tickets to the big game and at the same time having promised your partner that you’re serious about sticking to the budget.”
• Avoid using “charged” words that may be jarring to the prospect and likely to encourage resistance. For example, the prospect might really be feeling afraid but may not want to hear the word “scared” played back.
• Remember you are learning the prospect’s vocabulary and gathering motivational data that will help you later on  to close the deal.
• However you state your reflection, the goal is to communicate genuine interest and empathy in your prospect’s situation while at the same time confirming you correctly and thoroughly understand it. Don’t worry; you don’t have to always get it right. In fact, if your metaphor or understanding is off, your prospect will likely correct you and in doing so maybe even offer additional information to deepen the level of the conversation.

 Are you using reflective listening in your conversations with clients? 

Peggy Kriss, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in Newton, Massachusetts and a consultant to VisibleGains. Stay tuned for more psychology informed blogs by Dr. Kriss.